Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize