My first STD was from a foam party
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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