The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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