is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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