so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
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his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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