The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up under a house in Key West
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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