Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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