Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
meet me or not, i'm out of control
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
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They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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