he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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