im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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