I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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