i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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