i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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