His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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