Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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