did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize