1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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