i wish my penis had a tongue
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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