you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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