I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize