i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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