The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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