ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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