Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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