She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize