Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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