if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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