my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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