Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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