Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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