google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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