pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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