Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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