I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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