my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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