My nipple is on Facebook.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize