I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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