so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
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you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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