phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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