I just saw a hot homeless man
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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