My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize