Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize