Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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