Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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