Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize