I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wear drunk well.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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