i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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