Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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