Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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