I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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