Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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