there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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